My Feelings, Exactly!

This column by Rod Dreher in today's Dallas Morning News sums up my feelings, exactly, about the upcoming election.

Is it ever OK to refuse to vote on principle?

Knockout!

Well, not really KO-ed. Nice shiner, though!

Yesterday was a rough day in the ring! I got an elbow to the cheekbone and, once again, saw stars! You could say it was/is painful!

Today I look a bit like the dog on the old Spanky and Our Gang. Or, more recently, Spuds McKenzie.

Today was another tough time in the trenches. TGIF! The weekend never looked so relaxing!!

School Daze, Round Two!

Well....the mind and heart won over the old, aching body. I signed on for another month of crisis duty in what's classified as a Severe Classroom. Like I said, I've fallen for these kids. Also, my admiration for these teachers just increases daily!

I got smacked in the side of the head today! LOL! I saw stars, literally! You can't turn your back or take your eyes off the kids for a second! When thwarted, or even just for the heck of it, a blow from the hands or feet can come out of nowhere!

How truly frustrating to be non-verbal in a world of confusing sensory input and expectations! Sometimes it might, I suppose, be a kind of relief to hit your head or kick a wall, door or even another person. You can bang your head or bite yourself and be, in many instances, unable to tell the world what or how you feel. I can understand this on an intellectual basis. It breaks my heart.

I have to wonder what will happen to some of these kids when they get a bit older and the parents are unable to contain them or control them. Will they be moved into institutions or a group home? Will there be people like us to care about them to encourage them or access the person that lives within the behaviors and the disorders?

All I can do is marvel at these dedicated and loving teachers who work through and around the behaviors, the disorders, bring out the gold inside and channel it into learning. Teachers who channel the frustration into accomplishment. I will help them in this effort as long as I can.

Where one child can learn what other kids around his age can learn, although with much more effort and through different means, another might learn more life skills with less emphasis on academics.

It's challenging and, as I've said, rewarding. Two kids are becoming more verbal with a bit of prompting. One is, on good days, able to be in PE with his general education classmates. There have been several days lately where it was pretty much all about the behaviors. It was rough, chaotic and exhausting. We were more-or-less in survival mode. On these days there is no PE with other kids, no eating with our classmates in the cafeteria. On these days there is no walk around the school or time on the playground ( runners ).

But, there are the good days, the rewarding days. There are the days where laughter and cries of accomplishment erase the bad days. Except for the "smack", today was one of those days.

I wake up in the morning, refreshed, subdued back pain, looking forward to another day in the trenches of smiles, new words and new accomplishments. And, on a selfish note, it's a good feeling to know I'm making a difference in the lives of a few people in this particular little corner of the world.

I've led a pretty selfish life, on many levels. I've allowed myself to put "me" front and center waaaaaay too much. I've known for some years now that I make a difference in a couple of little boys' lives. Now I'm casting that net a bit wider to a few more little boys and a couple of fantastic young teachers.

It feels really good!

School Daze

Life has been crazy and moving in fast forward since the new school year started. Right off the bat my usual special education teachers started calling and booking me for certain dates.

One of the schools I work with on a regular basis opened me to a new and challenging subbing opportunity: that of a crisis aide in a new CSC classroom. This is a classroom that's set up for children with severe autism who can't be mainstreamed into either a general education classroom or within the resource rooms of the special education departments.

There are 4 students in this classroom. All of them are, for the most part, non-verbal, or have limited verbal skills. One is not fully potty trained. They are unpredictable, runners (there are alarms on the doors), and often very aggressive. Body armor for the teachers would come in handy! I've already had my share of bruises.

This is not a classroom for the faint of heart. It is challenging, often dangerous, frustrating and chaotic. It can also be immensely rewarding. There are 2, young ( you'd have to be young to withstand this pace, physically, for any length of time) teachers for these 4 students. At the moment they are allowed a crisis aide for a week at a time. That's where I've come into the mix.

It isn't easy to find someone willing to sub in this rather high-risk environment. I've been there almost every day for the past month between other, already scheduled sub jobs. I've also subbed for one of the young teachers while she took a much- needed break. One day next week I'll go from aide to teacher sub for the other teacher as she takes a few days off.

To be honest I'm in awe of these 2 teachers. They are amazing with these kids! Patience and perseverance are the name of the game. They have the temperament, love and teaching skills to tap into the magic that lies beneath the behaviors and limitations. And, yes, I've seen, already, much of the magic these kids have inside, untapped, and just waiting for someone to find a way to reach into and mine.

And, yes, these kids get under your skin. Each of them is different and lovable and engaging in spite of the behaviors and limitations. They might be exhausting and challenging but they are easy to fall in love with. I've fallen in love.

I already know that once the district either ceases to allow them a crisis aide or permits the hiring of a permanent aide, I will come back to volunteer on days I'm not on other sub jobs or need to be doing something else. Even if only for a few hours on the days I can come. I know I'm the first choice if the district gives the OK for a permanent aide in the CSC classroom. I also know my limitations. I couldn't do this every day and then come home and take care of my own boys. When the kids in the classroom spin out of control or become unmanageable, 4 kids turn into 14! And, as is often the case, when one melts down the others feed off the ensuing chaos.

Being on my feet in this physically demanding environment all day, getting up at 5 am to get myself and the boys ready for school, coming home from school and then dealing with the demands of my boys and dogs until 8 pm is taking its toll on my body. My age and arthritis remind me that one person can only do so much. My mind says yes; the old body says "ARE YOU CRAZY???"

October and November are already full of sub jobs. December even has a couple already on the calendar. With the economy as iffy as it is at the moment it's good to know I've got extra money coming in.

Connor and Sam have started off the school year on an up note. Connor's had his rocky moments, but, compared to years past, this is progress. His contained classroom environment in his school has been a plus for him. The additional diagnosis (this past summer) of high-functioning or atypical Autism hasn't really presented any changes in his school environment. He's already in, what has turned out to be, the optimum environment for his learning.

Life has been so crazy and exhausting that I've not had much time to spend posting. I haven't really had that much down time, to be honest. I think I got more done a week or so ago on a day I had to stay home with Sam who had a nasty but brief stomach bug. Gave me a chance to get caught up a bit.

I've got a new appreciation for working mothers, for single moms and for the teachers who devote their lives to teaching the children who present so many overwhelming challenges. I have to, once again, hand it to my particular school district. There are many failing districts all over the state and country. This is not one of them. My ISD cares about educating ALL kids and puts this caring into visible action. I see my tax dollars at work, in this instance, every day!

Speaking of digits...

You Are the Index Finger

You are ambitious, driven, and capable. You aren't afraid to take responsibility for your actions - or place the blame on whoever deserves it. You are honest, free thinking, and objective. You see things in your own way - and you aren't afraid to let everyone know about it. You get along well with: The Thumb Stay away from: The Ring Finger

What Finger Are You?

My handbag says I'm Schizophrenic

What Your Handbag Says About You

You tend to be relaxed throughout the day. You are naturally at peace. You are a high maintenance person. You feel lost outside of your normal environment. You are open and comfortable with who you are. You don't hide anything. You are a very creative person. Your life tends to be a whirlwind, but you always seem to pull it together. You are practical and down to earth. You tend to be a rather reserved and quiet person. You are an outgoing and expressive person. You always speak your mind, and you're very approachable.

What Does Your Handbag Say About You?

Speaking of Weather.....

In keeping with the turbulant weather of the weekend....

You Are Lightning

Beautiful yet dangerous People will stop and watch you when you appear Even though you're capable of random violence You are best known for: your power Your dominant state: performing

What Type of Weather Are You?