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"The colors of life shift

within a fixed parameter,

movable blocks of shadow

and light, interchangeable

or not."































"Chaos is a friend of mine." ~Bob Dylan

"Chaos is a friend of mine." ~Bob Dylan
Da Boys!

Front and Center!

These two creatures who have locked up my heart will be front and center in this little corner of blogosphere!







Sunday, June 21, 2009

Rocky Road

The summer is off to a rocky start. Connor graduated 5th grade a couple of weeks ago. It was a rocky graduation day for him-- sensory overload and overstimulating. He didn't make it through the entire ceremony or after party. He did, however, have a blast the following day, last day of school, at the annual 5th grade Luau.

Trish hasn't found a new job yet and Sam is out of control. VERY out of control. *Sigh* I'm already losing my mind and stressed to the max!

Here's Sam at his end-of-year party. Looking Angelic......



Trish and the boys on Connor's graduation evening. Connor's stress level was already rising...


Connor and his teacher at the Luau, where he's having fun!


My right foot started hurting the last couple of weeks of school. I limped around work every day thinking it would go away at some point. It didn't. In the past week or so the pain has gotten intense and the top of my foot is swollen. I had to stop my daily walks. I still have errands to run and things to do around the house and yard, so, staying off the foot hasn't been an option.
~~~~~~~
Finally I broke down and made an appointment with a foot and ankle clinic for tomorrow morning. I suspect it's a stress fracture. At this point, I just want to have it fixed so that I can move around without every step making me want to scream.
~~~~~~~~~~
*Sigh* I want Trish to find a job, SOON! I want Sam to shape up, or at least, become more manageable. Connor, bless his heart, is just fine, holed up in his room most of the day playing his video games or reading. I envy his ability to just tune out the rest of the world and the chaos around him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I need a break. And, I don't mean my foot.
~~~~~
A poem I wrote several years ago that expresses my current mood. It's about boundaries.

Our boundaries collapse
into each other
like a house of cards,
mother, daughter
under one roof.,
raising two children.
Mother
grandmother
daughter-
the roles bleed into each other.
Control yo-yos,
resentment builds
and spills over
into the landscape.
We scramble to reclaim
and repair the sense of order.

4 comments:

Kelly said...

Ah, yes. I remember this wonderful poem!!

I know there's nothing I can really say or do. Come. Let me pamper you....

Marion said...

Oh, Pammie, this really breaks my heart. Let's you and me pool our stash money and run away for one of those ten day cruises to anywhere?! Just let me know when you're ready to run (well, we'll both be limping, but what the hell) and I'll pack up my red truck and come and get you.

I'll say a special prayer for y'all and for Trish to find a job. There are so many people out there jobless that it's scary. Hugs and sincere 'Poor Babies' coming your way from hot, dry Louisiana.

I loved your poem again. I hope you're making some time to write. You have so much talent....I was reading a Plath poem this morning('The Beekeeper's Daughter',) and dug out the one you'd written and it blew me away again. Blessings...

quid said...

I remember and love the poem. I'm shocked about the fracture and concerned. I'm so glad you are going tomorrow. The pain must be terrible.

One good transition from retail is hotels. There is a work at home program at Hilton in Dallas. Pay could be better, but it is a great foot in the door to Hilton corporate. They test applicants, so if Trish does well in the testing it is an automatic "in". She may not have to go that route, she may be able to leverage retail management to one of the other jobs in Dallas. Hope this helps:

https://careers.hilton.com/psc/hrprd/?cmd=start&

I searched my company's Dallas website and only found one Director's job. I'll keep looking.

Hope this helps.

quid

Pam said...

Quid, thanks!!! I gave the link to Trish and she plans to look into it.